The band.

Cloud Cult.
They make me feel good under my fingernails and in my hair folicles and on every goosebump. Watching a group seem so happy, caring, genuine, and just... loving... It is encouraging in the most bizarre of ways. Craig Minowa's lyrics are so poetic, yet so relatable. His compositions are so unique and moving. Never have I seen a band where I could laugh and cry, sing lyrics to every song, and feel so comfortable in my own skin.
Can you hear them come, can you hear them come?

Best Week Ever?!

Yesterday was my last day at Schmitt Music. My coworkers, to my extreme surprise, chipped in to get me a card and one hundred dollars. It made me feel kind of guilty in a weird way. But I'm very grateful either way...
and today kicks off my crazy week of probably-the-most-awesome-and-expensive-yet-still-great time ever. :-D Cloud cult is tonight! ahhhh! Easily one of the best live bands ever. I'm extremely excited.
Then tomorrow I get to climb into an 8 hour bus ride with a few pretty awesome people. Tuesday night is Modest Mouse, which is a band I've been wanting to see for many many years. :-D Wednesday will be another long bus ride home, and then thursday night will be a bit of a rest day... then thursday night I get on another bus with Mr. Jarid Waniger and wander aimlessly around Chicago in the wee hours of friday morning. Hopefully we can stop in and see some museums. Then friday and saturday night will be dedicated to Nine Inch Nails. I'm sort of unbelievably excited for these two shows. They are going to be quite small and intimate with much longer sets. Not to mention its quite likely the last time I'll ever see Mr. Reznor preform, at least under this alias. Then another long bus ride home sunday (a total of approximately 36 hours on a bus) and then i have until thursday to get packed and move to my dorm.
HOLY SHIT.

Just something to relieve the stress.

In the morning you might role over to look at the clock before grudgingly deciding to awake for the day. You might pick up your phone and scroll through the new messages, most of which are impersonal messages from twitter. Strangely enough there was also a missed phone call from your dad. You don't think much of it as you stumble half-blindly into the bathroom. But then your mind becomes more alert and you start to remember. Your dad told you last night that his fathers surgery was pushed up. They decided his surgery was important enough to risk a clot and forgo the planned month of blood thinners. Now that missed call seems rather important. You try to remain focused on your morning routine but your mind can't help but drift. When you return to your room, your phone, sitting haphazardly on the bed, is like an unwelcome beacon of attention. You choose to put the imminent phone call off and turn instead to your laptop. As you lay on your bed you realize that your heart is racing. It becomes exceedingly hard to distract yourself from the drumming in your chest. You dig your phone out from the strewn-about covers. Your now shakey hands makes scrolling to the proper number a challenge. Your dad answers sounding anxious. He hasn't heard yet either. So there is not yet any news, bad or good. But your damn heart won't stop its internal rampage.

oh woe is me.

Alright, I hope I don't end up sounding whiney by the end of this. I am nervous, anxious, and stressed about everything college related right now.
Firstly, apparently UMD believes my family to be rich. According to my financial aid awards, I am receiving my $4000 a year from scholarships and thats it. No loans of any kind. I do have another $1000 dollars scholarship coming, but still 16 grand out of pocket is ludicrous. I'm sure its a mistake and I am hoping I can get it cleared up by tomorrow. But what if it isn't? I really can't go to UMD if thats the case. I couldn't even go to AR at this point because the registration date has passed. I should stop freaking myself out.
Secondly, assuming I get problem number one worked out, My text book situation is quite intimidating. The UMD bookstore is far from helpful, with extremely limited information about the text books themselves available. Also, my text books would have been North of $800 if I purchased the books from there. I realize this is just how it is with text books... but thats terrible. I've been investigating half.ebay.com, but any other suggestions?
Thirdly, I'm actually a little sad about leaving home. I'm actually happy here. I'm getting along with my step mom for a change. My parents are giving me more freedoms then ever. I have regular income. I guess basically I have most of the perks of adulthood with few of the ishy factors. I like to think I'm an open minded person but this change is a bit rattling...
Don't get me wrong, I'm REALLY excited about going off to school. It will be fun to meet new people and entering a (hopefully) better learning environment. And ya know... have my independence.
Basically I'm worrying. And stressing myself out. Ahhh!

Comptine D'un Autre Ete

Yann Tiersen is a genius. The soundtrack to Le Fabuleaux Destin D'Amelie Poulain is amazing. My particular favorite is the track entitled Comtine D'un Autre Ete. I can listen to it a million times and still experience it in a new way. I sometimes feel like I'm drowning. Like I close my eyes and visualize the swirl of colors. Blues and grays. But its such a calming sensation that I think of fall and crisp leaves blowing on a cobblestone street. Oranges and Reds. But the youthful hopefulness makes me think of a small French girl playing in her green grass with her red beret. Hmm. This song is almost perfect.
I write about music in this blog quite a lot it seems. Probably because nothing in my life seems terrible significant. I'm definitely not complaining. Life seems to be going smoothely for a change. I'm going to try and enjoy it for as long as possible, and hopefully longer.
I did recently get my wisdom teeth removed as I'm sure you all know from my spamming twitter and such with complaints... sorry about that. I was quite fortunate in the sense that I experienced hardly any pain at all really. I didn't even take any vicodin. But they did definitely damage a nerve during the surgery because the left half of my chin, lip, and gums are numb. Its quite annoying. I really hope it goes away soon...
I found out that next year I'll be in Griggs and my roomie is named Paige. She seems nice, thankfully! Its a relief to find that out... now I just need to get the financial shit out of the way... ish.

A list of songs that have affected me a lot at some point!

I'm not sure why, but making this list seems like a good idea, so here goes (in no particular order):
Marching Bands of Manhattan: Death Cab for Cutie
Right Where it Belongs: Nine Inch Nails
Mountains Made of Steam: A Silver Mount Zion
Chemicals Collide: Cloud Cult
In this Twilight: Nine Inch Nails
Take Your Medicine: Cloud Cult
God Bless Our Dead Marines: A Silver Mount Zion
Everybody Here is a Cloud: Cloud Cult
Little Furry Bugs: Death Cab for Cutie
The Day the World Went Away: Nine Inch Nails
How it Ends: DeVotchka
If I Ever Leave this World Alive: Flogging Molly
Sodom, South Georgia: Iron & Wine
Daylight: Matt & Kim
Float On: Modest Mouse
Oh Comely: Neutral Milk Hotel
Such Great Heights: Postal Service
New Slang: The Shins
Svefn-g-englar: Sigur Ros
A Song for Milly Michaelson: Thrice
Comptine D'un Autre Ete: Yann Tiersen
Genius And Thieves: Eluvium
Flume: Bon Iver
I'm sure there are many more but these come to mind right now... :-D

Running in the Dark

What a strange, bizarre weekend it has been! Friday was quite possibly one of the strangest nights of my life, although definitely not bad, although some bad things did happen (obviously). Good things happened too! Saturday I wasn't able to sleep in like most of the gang was due to needing to get to work and shower beforehand... so I slept little then went to a long, EXTREMELY slow day at Schmitt. I occupied myself by journaling (in the offline speckled notebook) about the crazy night I had. Afterward I tried to watch a movie with my dad but I fell asleep and slept for nearly 13 hours! I had some fantastic dreams, mostly pertaining to the night before. And today I worked but it was a decent shift. Then Jessica Leo came over and seriously made my day. I found out that both of our fridays were similarly wacky. It was the type of sychronistic coincedence that is constantly occuring in her and my relationship. We laughed and shared all kinds of details and recent life events. I have missed that girl. I know she and I will always be close. I'm lucky to love so many people in my life right now. Too lucky even?
Sorry if this blog is very vague. I've simply thought too much this weekend to retell anything in detail... anyway I'm off to watch Lars and the Real Girl. Hope it's good! :-D