What's Going On?!

I have not written a blog in a while, and I hate to say it, but I think its been a while because things are going so well right now. Its so easy to document the terrible things. But all the great things can be pretty easily go without note. I am TOO happy to let that happen :) Classes have been really great. I actually have fun in my least favorite class. Even ICL, the most obnoxious, busy-work-filled class I've EVER had, is tolerable. I've been meeting a lot of cool people. I have been doing a lot of fun things. I can't actually even think of a point of conflict in my life at all at this exact moment.

I hope I don't sound like I'm bragging. That is really not the point. I am kind of in shock, and I thought writing about it might help a little. Everything has been so great. And probably everyone reading this knows already, But I am dating a really great guy. Its going really well. And that is probably the primary source of my shock. I never thought anything would happen there at all. But I am really glad something did happen because this feels so good. Healthy. And I am really appreciative that everyone else has been reacting so positively, at least as far as I can tell. I was really pretty concerned that people would react badly. I do understand that sometimes when people date things get really uncomfortable. I realllllllly do not want that to happen. So far so good I think? Anyway I'll do my best not to get all mushy gushy. :)

I'm also starting a photo project. I am planning on shooting things typically considered creepy, gross, dirty, and/or somewhat common. I have a few pictures that sort of show what I want. Any ideas for subject matter?

Can You Hear Them Come?

It sort of sucks to have all of these realizations. That sometime hurt feels so good. Sometimes crying is so damn beautiful. Love is all there is and it just fucking isn't enough. Because you might be driving and get hit by a bus. and that's all there is.

Turn Wedding gowns to angel clothes

I just had one of the best fourty-five minutes I've had in a long time. With some unexpected time, I paid a visit to the Tweed Museum, a place where I've been only breifly last year. I decided music would accompany the situation well. I selected Cloud Cult's Feel Good Ghosts (Tea-Partying Through Tornadoes) album. It had been a while since I'd listened to it, and it will forever be one of my favorites. I'm not sure if it was the music, the extreme fatigue I was experiencing, or the art, but I couldn't hold back the tears. And they just kept coming. And it felt so good, like the best day. There was a very special clarity in those moments. The pictures seemed to speak with Mr. Minowa's lyrics. Brand new stories were being born everywhere I looked. It feels so nice to feel.
I love you all.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE'S OKAY! HE'S OKAY! HE'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M SO HAPPY! :-D

Papi

My dad suffered a heartattack today. Rereading my last post weirds me out. It makes me feel like its my fault in a weird way. Don't worry though, I know it isn't, it was just a strange coincedence. It has been one of the worst days of my life. At the moment he is in an induced coma and I know he won't be conscious until friday at the earliest. Being here in the waiting room is making me more crazy than anything. But I should stay to support my daddy. I love him so much. This type of thing happening was honestly one of my biggest fears.
But I know I'm missing class and tests and just in general falling behind. At least I would feel like I was accomplishing something if I went to classes and maybe didn't fall so far behind. I really hate just waiting here. But I also should be here... just incase. But he has been stable all day. And the only real concern they have is of brain damage, which is aweful. But they won't be able to tell until they wake him up, which, like I said, won't be until friday.
And I guess its in my nature to avoid these situations. After my grandpa died I fought tooth and nail to not have my camping trip plans ruined. I think its how I cope... I don't like being distressed publically. I like to be distracted and then deal with it on my own terms. But this is my dad. My papa.
Gah. I don't know what to do. I'm so torn. I'm going to be stressed out no matter what I do. I just love him wayyyyy too much for this to be happening right now.

A memory!

When I was quite young, at least young enough to still attend daycare before school, I was awoken everyday at four thirty in the morning. I would throw on a change of clothes and stumble down the stairs to our sofa, to continue my rest while my dad completed his morning routine. And almost every morning, about five minutes after I lay down, an incredibly warm, cozy, perfect sensation would encompass me. A fresh-from-the-drier blanket would have been tucked around me and my brother by our father followed by a short kiss on the top of the head. That is the best kind of love. I miss it. Do you have these memories?

Well, I suppose!

I feel as though I should update this blog of mine, seeing as I've undergone a major life change since the last time I blogged. Unfortunately I was putting off writing this blog because it was so daunting... and the longer I wait the more writing I should (hypothetically) do. Hmmm... oh well!

I am officially a college kid. I live at a dorm, which happens to be larger than I expected, but slightly too washed out color-wise for my tastes. I'm working on that. My roommate, Paige, is really laid back and nice. So far we have gotten on excellently.
The first weekend, they had us freshman jumping through Bulldog welcome week hoops. It was exhausting, and mostly useless, however small doses of usefulness did slip in. I did attend a REAL college party. Wooo. :-D It was a good time, and I met some neat folk. Then classes started and it all felt kind of surreal. More like highschool than I would have expected, but that has more to do with the indoor campus thing than with the classroom content. I still am really enjoying myself.

Koo Koo Kangaro is a dance/rap group that came and played on campus and it was insanely fun!! They do such a fantastic job of involving the audience. Then the next day a few of us made a whorlwind trip to Minneapolis for Matt & Kim! and they were SO cute!

Then the next day after classes we went back down toward the cities, but this time we stopped off in Riverfalls to see Cloud Cults last show for a while. It was excellent as usual! :-D Connie was so pregnant. I'm really happy for them.

Then John Miller and I headed down to St. Olaf to celebrate Ct's birthday! horray! It was fun meeting some of her friends and seeing some fellow Anokans.

This morning I packed up again and am now back at my dorm again. I got some homework done. I'm currently enjoying the new Muse. I'm ready to get into the swing of things.